Evryone is talking about it.. "tak nervous ke?" "da ready?" "da prepare sume?" "wat do expect on that day?" "how much u spend on ur wedding?" "brape outfit u pakai?" "nanti abes kul bape?" "lepas kawin u tgl ngn ur parents ke ur husband's parent?" "ade dinner?" "ader karaoke?" "wen u strat ur leave?"

haha.. these pple are making me more nervous.. with we getting married i felt like an attention seeker.. evryone will come to me and ask those question.. i felt so important,so special.. i wish on dat day i wud b more special... hehehe... its like a few days left.. today is monday,n my solemn is on saturday.. phheeww.. i freakingly scared of dat day.. i'm afraid dat sumthing bad mite happen.. errghhh... so paranoid... need to get rid of it.. shoozz.. I'm so exhausted,i need a rest.. a break.. how i wish i dun hav to werk..

Ohh Yah,need to congratulate SEZAIRI SAZALI who had been crowned the 3rd male singapore idol.. so proud of hym..



COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS... in about a few more days 10 days to b exact i'm gonna b officially married to Muhammad Shafiq.. m gonna b sumone's wife.. its gonna b a big responsibilty fer me.. n i guess more werk to b done.. first i was single,i 'm free to do wateva i wan. i only hav to manage myself,pamper myself. and den came akif. i have to manage both myself and akif.. i need to go thru the hassle of "night shift moms" waking up in the middle of the night to feed the baby,wake up again to go to werk.. ensuring akif health is well taken care of.. pagi g keje balik keje jage baby,kemas rumah penat tau.. and now,being a wife. hav to manage the three of us.. jage baby,jage suami,jage rumah,jage mkn minom anak suami.. goshh.. i dunoo whether i can make it.. ape yg aku mepek ni pon aku taktau.. i'm jus too nervous.. hehe..

i jus hope bf is not demanding. i hope we can last this marriage w/o any inerference frm any third party,frm any conflict.. i hope i'm able to keep my patience level up.. i need to perservere,to understand the difficulties and also the wonderful things about marriage. walauweiii.. lagi 10 ari ehh.. mcm tak caye gitu..

Getting on the preparation not well,i still have not change the address of solemnisation,i still havent pay the mak andam n cameraman balance.. i havent got a cake, i havent get my room cleaned and organised... i'm glad that i hav aunties/uncles/parents/grandparents that can help me along the way.. ohh yahh speaking abt family i duno wether i'm prepared to stay with different family. i mean staying under one roof with bf and his parents.. goshh i will miss my home sweet home soo much.. gonna miss woodlands.. haha.. gonna miss my bff.. my entire life will be change.. gonna miss it..

i hope my rlationshp with bf will be better aftr the marriage,i hope he will also understand the meaning of marriage n will work together with me to keep this marriage strong and alive.. i dun wan a moserable life please..! no eh.. he will hav to learn to control his anger and not to unnesacerily scold,get angry fer nothing.. tu part aku paling menyampah nnt tak pasal nk tekan minyak.. and learn to actually apologised wen u did sumthing wrong lah deyy.. sumtime wen u hurt sumone feelings u gotta atleast say sorry or make it up to dem.. learn to study the sensivity of sumone else feeling's instead of urself.. i hope he wun restrict me frm going out to hang out with my fellow bff's..

Oh yahh.. i was jus wondering who was the stranger who had left a comment at my tagboard n name himself/herself "hey".. thnks ehh.. eventhough i don't noe who u r,thnks fer the concern n the advice.. things are getting abit better fer us.. hope it'll get even better thru out our journey of marriage.. but if u dun mind cud u like kindly tell me who u r.. as u noe its quite creepy wen sumone knows who u r,knows wats goin on with u and u actually dun noe who r they.. hehe.. but however it is thnks fer reading listening atleast i noe sumone else still cares.. someone else understand how i feel.. but who r u...??? hehe..

haizz,thinking of getting a new job.. this is geting SUCKER.. haha.. aku penat ahh keje ni.. 6 days satu ari off.. nak amek leave susa.. lmbt briefing kene marah.. padehal keje start kul 8.. sampai 7:45 pon kene marah.. kalau keje malam lagi lengit sampai kul 10 boring aje... haiizz.. tapi gaji bagos.. ohh no its almost visiting hours.. n its almost my lunch.. and den home at 4pm .. yeahhh..need to get back to work.. will update again once free.. toodles!!

Hey! it has been awhile since i blog since i actually let out my feelings here.. i hope bf is reading.. no,no,no i dun think so he will.. haiizz.. its been rough fer me lately.. evrything is jus not ryte.. i've been keeping it to myself.. i hate it wen coming to heartache.. it reali hurts.. bf is terribly hurting me emotionally.. he is not himself eversince last few mths.. i have given my fullest love to him.. i've did evrything that a gal wud do as a gf to him.. yahh to me i hav not been hurting his feelings.. i nvr did anything wrong besides that time wen i club sumwer around my bday.. n dat was of coz bcause he had not been faithful to me and i wana run away frm all those feeling that had been hurting me,those gals i've called dat he get to know.. there are alot of them,it never will end until i do sumthing.. .. once he wrote on his fb status hurt me alot... he was using vulgar to describe me at fb.. jus bcause my fon was off n i was asleep during my offday.. my fon was off bcause the nyte bfore i've change sim kad to the surflite sim kad.. n because i was too sleepy i did not change it back.. i woke up and realise it was already 2.. i think he thought dat i was njoying myself the nite bfore.. well he got it all wrong.. i realy don wana pick a fight wif him.. esp wen our wedding is like a few more weeks to go.. goshh its getting nearer i dun even noe whether its the ryte thing to do.. and so recently which is like now his fb status is saying about me not trusting him and him not trusting me.. i can do wateva i wan and he can do wateva he wan.. i'm so confused... den wats the point of us getting married he we were to go on our different way??? this is a big question mark ?? to me.. i jus dun understand his point.. sometimes his jus to eager to get married and some other time he's like lets jus go on our separate ways.. i really feel lke running away frm him.. i hav too much pressure in life.. i hab to cope with werk,with my son,with damn money and household.. i'm just too tired of all this shafiq.. please stop me frm all this suffering.. are u sure u want go on ur way n i go on my way.. if u had really love me,wants to marry and live with me and our son y dun we settle this once and fer all.. y must u act this childish way.. it will nvr come to an end.. sooner or later it will nvr be settled.. lately we have not been having heart to heart talk.. have not been settling our probs properly,he will jus tend to ignore me,ignore my msgs,my mails... why? i'm here trying to setle evrythng and he is jus ignoring me.. i find that i'm no longer important to him.. i find that he is better off with his frenss.. he got all his time with his mates but wen it comes to me he'll just keep quite.. he have nothing to talk to me anymore.. but i can see that he had most fun with his fren rather then me.. wen we go out he'll always atleast text or call his fren.. but wen he's wit his fren not even a mis cal to me.. i duno whether i stil exist in his life... bf,if u are reading i hope u'll change.. change fer me and akif.. we'll start a new life together no secrets btween us.. i do love u soo much even too much.. cume u je yg tk nmpk.. i realy hate wen the part we r in conflict n u'll jus keep quite.. but bf,if u have no feeling towards me anymore dun wan to be with me.. dun wana marry me den its fine with just dat tell it straight to my face and not to backstab me frm behind.. if u wan me to leave,i will i will nvr bother ur life.. but u hav to me dat or else i will just try to do my best to save this 3yrs rlationship of ours.. please dun make me suffer.. u have atleast about 1 month to think it over.. before the day of our soleminisation.. which is 2nd of january 2010. i need sumone to talk.. but i have no one.. and i dun wan anyone to noe my prob now.. i jus need to stop thinking abt dis.. its hurting me alot. i text him and he nvr reply.. i'm sure he is laughing his ass out with his frens.. and ignoring my msg.. i trying to sort things out wif him.. i duno y suddenly he is like piss off with me.. wen i did nothing wrong.. unlike him,last thurs only god knows wer he went.. i dun wana think it will jus hurt me more.. i think i'm going out alone tmrw.. out with akif.. just the 2 of us.. sumwer wer there isnt much pple.. sumwer i cud sit n ease my mind.. i'm breaking down.. i need sumone to hug.. i can feel that bf is totally not into me anymore.. totally doesnt want me anymore.. i will try to run away frm him.. since that is wat he wants.. i wun wan to depend on him anymore..

Woow.. lame pe tak update.. haha.. lame btol.. so those who frequently peep in my blog sori ehh fer the late update.. well guys i've been busy with loads of things nowadays.. first and foremost i've been attending this health course.. to be more exact its a Patient Service Assistant course.. i'll be busy fer this whole lot of 4mths.. dulu mak suro g skola tanak skola da tua tua aru nak skool hehe.. i met lots of new frens.. evryone is frenly and easy to tag along with.. except fer this one idiot! haha.. almost evryone in the class dislike her.. dislike her soo much.. such an irritating bug! tu takpe.. bday die bleh same lak tu ngn aku.. errgghh.. menyampah.. sebok aje.. nasib prangai tak cam die.. she's the type of gal whom we malay call "TAKTAU MALU"..



Enuf abt this.. i need to congratulate Nurashiken Bte A. Rahman fer her sucessful engagement and also her 20th Burfday.. so hapi fer you gal.. smoga kekal ke anak cucu even better akhirat.. hehe.. we attend her engagement on her bday itself.. which is 8th march 2009.. janji jmpe kul 11-12.. end up yg paling lambat our dear Hartika.. 3pm.. haha.. janji mlayu sepet camni ahh.. hehe... the food was nice shiken.. n i do like your make up.. evryone else was with their partner except POOR ME!.. bf have to werk on that day.. so i went with akif hehe.. after her engagement went to jb.. bought dvds.. whoo..hoo.. best i like..



Next congratulate Nurul Huda Bte Malek fer her 20th Birthday.. Planned to go Dbl O together on the 2nd April.. but she still cant conferm.. hurhur... if u r reading this try to make ahh nurul.. k,k?.. can still rmmber during our secondary sch days.. sec 1 to be exact me and nurul throw a bday party togather celebrating our 13th Birthday.. Coolness.. tapi tu time sume maseh anak abu lagi.. hehe..



Not to ferget.. Noorhafizah Bte Udin fer her newborn Muhd Shah Akid on 15th February 2009 just after Valentines day.. went down to K.K.H dat evening after attending bf kak sdare wedding.. meet up with nurul and her bf at kkh itself tot of buying gift but every gift store in kkh closed.. hurhur.. but then still bought her a gift few days later.. will post pics wen i have the time ok.. she had an almost 4kg babyboy.. wooow! and recently she blogged that her 1mth Baby Akid is reaching to 5kg already.. Nak sangat baby gendut.. amik kau! hehe...

yeah,yeah... valentine's day coming.. me being so tak-malu text my bf jus now. "have u bought v'day gifts fer me" and he i duno whether purposely never rplied that msg.. grumpy me text him again.. "waahhh rabak bbual sal v'day gifts je tak rply.." (haha) few minutes later he finally responded, "tak lah tak perasan then u belikan i ape?" waalauwei i was the one asking him n he questioned me back the same thing.. purposely running away from it.. well,frankly i dun realy had bought anything fer him.. i freaking dun noe wat freaking thing to freaking buy fer him... suggestions...... but well,we cant really celebrate it outside riding around the whole of singapore as we have a wedding invitation to attend to.. his cuzzy his getting married on v'day.. n evryone of us will be celebrating v'day together... yeahhhh!!!! (akif just had a long fart! haha!) at the same date fiza will be giving birth too.. if its the exact expected due date lahh.. goshh how sweet v'day baby.. celebrating v'day with her bundle of joy. holidays and weekends were spent mostly with families. friday stayed indoors at home. saturday we went fer counselling. finally evrything was over. finally its all settled! irritating so call professional assosiation.. *like duhh lah ehh ur services was worst ever, its not worth our $240.00. i dun wish to go back there again even if i hav too.. ended at 4 and we headed to pasiris park fer his cuzzin bbq bday party.. had some conflicts with bf the day before.. he sms me that his mother ask whether i can send akif over at 7.30 morning and i say lahh.. "asal pagi sgt,tgk camne bukannyer senang" of course its not damn ez to wake up early morning getting all ready not jus fer myself but fer akif too.. having to pack all the babies items,which i actually have done it the nite b4 fer some simple things lahh.. i'm alone with a baby n a pram taking a train to bt panjang expect me to reach there 7-8am? to-go-there i will hav to walk from my house to wlds interchange.. about 20mins.. take a train to cck also about 20mins.. transfer to lrt about 25-30mins.. he replied me.. "kalau menyusahkan sgt den takyah gi,dok umah je".. so out of anger i responded back ahh.. "org sume pk ape i kat umah ni besarkan bontot ajer pe! ingt senang pe nak siap nak smpai sane kul 7-8. pakai mulot pakai sms senang ahh.. sembarang ahh tak heran ahh tak dpt pegi!" i duno if i over reacted. but seriously sia,i dun want to be that girl being bullied,harmless,being soft hearted all the time and ppl WILL tend to take advantage of it.. so wat if i'm rude,disrecpectful i gotta defend myself too.. atleast i'll not feel as if i'm being to ur slave.. being nice does not pays.. n u gotta give respect to gain respect.. i jus dun like takings ppls ordered or most probably ppl ordering me wat to do.. at times i'll be fine lahh.. wen i'm in good mood.. but if u're being like a boss-wannabe then u betta wake up to reality pple aint clearing ur shit fer u.. u gotta do it urself.. dun ever boss me around telling me evry single things to do.. coz i jus HATE IT! evrthing turns out fine during the counselling.. went to cwp and den to libry with nurul jus now.. suddenly i became a novel-reader-freak.. so i ask if nurul wud accompany me to civic. we headed to civic 4.30 n headed back home at 6.30.. nurul meeting her fren at 7.30.. akif have been having difficulties to sleep lately.. i'm not sure y.. so i'm out now,gotta have some rest.. bf's coming over later..hopefully he will not boss me around.......... toodles..

i'm blogging now so dat peeple know i'm still alive.. still updating..January is coming to an end. How fast can that be.. been lazy to update lately. basically i've got a tumble of housewerk to do and end up being soo worn out fer an blog update.. hey! doing housewerk isnt as easy as simple as u might think.. try doing it fer atleast a week.. n u'll c.. and Akif is totally a pissed lately.. irritated by him most of the time.. errrgghhhh!! but then after a random shout at his pathetic face i found myself guilty. for god sake that baby is 7mths old.yahh yahh.. i'm wrong.. but watever it is he is still a cute plus noisy baby who eats alot i mean very,very alot. as fer now evryone is sound asleep ,akif too.. (thank god) i just cant seem to put myself to sleep just yet.. maybe because i woke up late jus now which is because i slept late the day before. i slept at 7 and woke up 2. will still be sleeping if it isnt because of the cutie noisemaker.. incredibly Akif. Hartika spend the night over at my place yesterday,another reason fer me sleeping late besides the chubby noise maker who keeps nagging about only god knows wat is it about.. we had movie marathons and bee hoon noodles each. Looking forward fer weekends. bf and i had two invitation for a Beach party.. haha.. jus a family get together.bf's family actually.. one of it is at Pasir Ris as an occasion of his cuzzy bday and we had already bought her a guess wallet.last week while shopping plus window shopping. only that it had not been wrap up.. another lazyness of me.. (bf i've already told you, if you have decided on buying her a guess wallet, i demand a guess watch from you that minute!) busok hati ekh aku..! Another one is as usual at East Coast,occasion is jus a family bonding and getting together.. And i'm so not looking forward for this one which is amp counselling session this saturday at 1.30 noon.. another one who pisses me to the core.. they are actually making my simple life damn difficult which cause my previous job. they owe me big time man! i'm wanting to give them the ugliest feedback and hoping fer the whole malay association to know how terrible their service are... damn wasting the hard earn $$... they are getting on my nerves seriously.i've also heard bad comments frm frens who use to have their service. y on earth am i referred to amp.. should i know,i would have attend to other association.. it is a worst ever association such a dissapointment... been meeting up with gf's lately.. that's another reason fer the laziness to update.. accompanied fizah fer her monthly regular check ups and scanning. gosh her tummy damn big. a mother of three.. around of applause to her. Being a mother is a wonderful thing to all women and its not dat easy gals... her estimated baby's weight was 2.8 if i'm not wrong.. not bad huh..surely chubby.. hehe.. she'll due next months.. ohh no,should be less than a month by now.. not sure if she had decided on a name yet. gf had been slacking around my place,gossiping, cursing, critising the old us,bringing up issues on the silly but cute things we've done during secondary. Nurul brought along a photo which is 6 years ago.. a picture of us during national day 2002 performing choir. i was so hidious!! haha!! muke so bachin! dun u even think about uploading that photo nurul warning you! well i missed those days.. secondary was the best life i've ever imagined.. how i wished i cud turn back time.. Ohh yah,wat the heck.i suddenly remmembered that i did not turn up fer my science O'Level chemist practical paper.. gosh. really if ever i cud go back to the past. but afterall,i cherished evry moment we've spent during secondary schs. wearing the wrong shirt fer practice,giving silly excuses,escaping detention,stoopid never ending 2.4km run. haha.. i had never passed it for 5years. sharing answers fer homework which calls for photocopy machine,prank on teachers. i'd read shikin entries and she mention about "kedai kaya","kedai miskin".. Haha.. well that exactly was the food stall in our sch canteen b4 recess we wud ask each other "kau mkn kedai kaya ke kedai miskin?" haha. kedai miskin actually sells nasi lemak and kedai kaya sells variety of dishes. hehe Oh yahh.. another silly but cute thingy we actually create ourselve a japanese name.. mine was Yoshiyukiko. nak step cute lahh konon.. haha.. silly. i missed those days. time passed by soo fast wen we r having fun. cudnt imagine how bland my life would be w/o those kinds of moments.. me and bf are getting on well lately,just that we havent been talking.. i mean talks like about our relationship,our past,u know those mushy-mushy staff.. hehe.. we went out last weekends.. saturday to town bought himself a cap and his cuzzy the guess wallet. sunday planned was to help my bro sent his hp fer service at bishan,before leaving the house mama asked fer a favour to send over grandma's stuff to yishun,so i asked him and he insisted. once we reached marsiling to get the phone from my brother he suddenly raised his voice "cepat lah nak gi yishun lagi" wat the tooot... clearly i felt that he wasnt that sincere to help out.. or jus being such a errgh i cant get a word but nemind.. but u insisted,u shud hav just gav such lame excuses if u wouldnt want to help out.. once settled with the hp servicing,he asked me where to go.. u were the one rushing things out and you were asking where should we go?? pissed off kan?? we went to the central shopping center.. and then had dinner at far east.. thought of watching movies but there isnt any exiciting movie. so he bought dvds instead at the cathay.. Flipper,Backdraft and another about skinheads movie. i have a feeling that i would woke up at 2 again today.. as its already 6am and i'm here still typing. will be meeting the gals again later. i've got two good news from two good peeple.. one is from shikin and another is my mother herself.. last sunday she told me that she's already 3months pregnant. congrats mom the moments u've been waiting fer.. she also did mention that she's afraid this pregnancy will also leads to miscarriage.. i felt her pain and will pray the best fer her..so she had check up and scanning today at nuh. y not kkh ehh? hmm... n as usual i had to do the housewife daily routine.. but additional cooking... wen it comes to cooking dun ever look up fer me.. i can only bake.. and so i tried to cook mutton soup which mom taught me the day b4. the taste was absolutely terrible lah sehh.. omg.. i didnt even tell bf about this haha!! it wud b so embarassing if he wud find out or actually had a taste of it.. grandma pls pass on your cooking talent.. how can i ever b a good wife if i cant even cook a simple dish.. but bf loves my maggie special ok.. we called it maggie bandung.. hehe.. i think its time fer me to log off now.. need to get enuf rest before the cuddly noise maker wokes up.. toodles..